You should be kissed and often!

I am sure most of you will recognize the famous line from the 1939 film, Gone with the Wind.  With eyes locked in a face-to-face embrace, the character Rhett Butler quips to Scarlet, 

“No, I don’t think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.”

Rhett Butler has a good dose of rascal in him, but he demonstrates some deep insights into the human nature.  Modern psychology has demonstrated that each one of us needs to have someone to depend on, a loved one who can offer us reliable emotional connection and comfort. This type of connection is a basic human need for each of us. We are literally hard wired with this need for relationship.

No surprisingly, this need for emotional connection is part of the way that God created us, in the image and likeness of God. The Genesis narrative tells us, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18), so God created Eve as a helpmate and equal partner for him. God completes the image of God by the creation of man and woman together in relationship. Mysteriously this man-woman relationship mirrors the love of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:32).

In today’s Gospel, we have the famous summary of the law in which Jesus notes the two-fold need to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength” and to “love your neighbor as yourself.”

Unfortunately, for many people, the very use of the word law brings to mind rules, discipline and duties. While young boys can learn many virtues from scouting, our faith is not a Boy Scout project. “I will do my best to do my duty to God.” 

Summarizing the law in this way, changes the focus from duty to love and relationship. As someone has wisely said, “Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.” The proper way to understand the law is through intimate relationship with God. 

More than this, this relationship takes place in and through an interior communion with God’s love in the Spirit (Jeremiah 31:31-33; CCC 1966, 1972). Unlike the Old Law the New Law of Christ “consists essentially in the precepts of love of God and neighbor” and “is the grace of the Holy Spirit received by faith in Christ, operating through charity” (CCC 1974, 1983).

Beginning with Adam and Eve, the Bible uses the human love of a married couple or Marriage as the model for revealing the love between God and his people. In Sacred Scripture, the Church is the bride of Christ (2 Corinthians 11:2; Revelation 21:2,9-10) and in Heaven and the blessed will attend the Wedding Feast of the Lamb (Revelation 19:9).

We call the most intimate connection between God and his people, communion. The reality is, though, there can be no communion without a secure sense of personal intimacy. Just as we can wrongly experience rules without relationship, it is also possible to experience ritual without a sense of personal intimacy. 

Perhaps the scribe in our Gospel reading senses this when he says the summary of the law is “worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” Jesus is standing in the Temple when this dialogue takes place. 

While it is always true that the sacraments have a spiritual effect, the benefits received depend on our disposition and cooperation, or more simply put on our relationship with God.

St. Pope John Paul II highlighted this problem more than thirty years ago. He observed that often when children are baptized in infancy, and later end up coming for catechesis in the parish, they do so “without receiving any other initiation into the faith and still without any explicit personal attachment to Jesus Christ” (CT 19). As a result, catechesis often fails. 

There can be no communion without a personal intimacy. 

Children raised on duty alone, or the "rules without relationship” approach, will not likely find meaning in the Church. They are missing the crucial ingredient, relationship with God. As St. John Paul II notes, the proclamation of the Gospel introduces man “into the mystery of the love of God, who invites him to enter into a personal relationship with himself in Christ” (RM 44).

Yet, this problem is not limited to children. Each one of us needs to experience what St. John Paul II calls, “explicit personal attachment to Jesus Christ.” Yet, perhaps some people are not able to relate to this bride and bridegroom metaphor found in Sacred Scripture. 

Does God really invite us to have a relationship with him that is a sort of spiritual romance?

How would we respond if we heard our Lord say to us, “You need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how?”  I do not think these words would shock St. Teresa of Ávila, or St. John of the Cross, but how do we hear them?

I suspect our response is tied to our culture. Hispanics, Italians, and the French all regularly greet their friends and family with kisses, but English culture is more reserved.

If you find this metaphor hard to relate to, perhaps we could change the words to “You need love badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be loved and often, and by someone who knows how.”

Another helpful way to understand God’s love is through the metaphor of a parent and child. St. Paul tells us we are sons and daughters of God;

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.  For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, “Abba, Father!”  The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.” (Romans 8:14–17).

 As St. Josemaría Escrivá has reminded us,

“…God is a Father -- your Father! -- full of warmth and infinite love. Call him Father frequently and tell him, when you are alone, that you love him, that you love him very much, and that you feel proud and strong because you are his son [or daughter]” The Forge, 331.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus tells us that the love of God is our first and most important relationship. It requires everything from us. We must love him with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind and with all or strength.  We must discover, like St. Augustine, that our heart is restless until it finds rest in God (CCC 1718). So today Lord, open our hearts to receive your loving embrace. Let us be transformed by your love. 

THIRTY-FIRST SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME --YEAR B

Mark 12:28b–34

“Master, I want to see.” Mark 10:46–52

The healing of blind Bartimaeus raises many questions that we all face in our lives. Does God really love me? Is he listening when I pray to him? 

Mark tells us that Bartimaeus’ healing takes place while leaving the city of Jericho. It would be natural for Galilean Jews to detour around the Samaritan regions on the Jordan’s east side while on pilgrimage to Jerusalem, and then to cross over the Jordan at Jericho journeying to Jerusalem. This may seem an incidental detail, but Jericho was the first city conquered in the “promised land” by Joshua. Could Mark be drawing our attention to this detail?

Mark recounts the actual healing of Bartimaeus with great simplicity. “Jesus told him, ‘Go your way; your faith has saved you.’ Immediately he received his sight and followed him on the way” (10:52).  In Jesus’ previous healings in Mark, Jesus sends away the persons healed and tells them to keep quiet (1:44; 2:11; 5:19, 34; 7:29). While the “crowds” try to silence him, Jesus allows Bartimaeus to call him “Jesus, son of David,” and even allows him to follow him along the way.

The simplicity of the healing and the differences in Jesus’ response, suggest that in addition to being a healing narrative, this story is primarily about the “call” of Bartimaeus. We read that, “Jesus stopped and said, ‘Call him.’ So they called the blind man, saying to him, ‘Take courage; get up, he is calling you.’” (10:49). The verb “call” (phoneō) is repeated three times. The calling of Simon and Andrew (Mark 1:16) and James and John (1:19) at the beginning of Mark, is very similar.

I would like to suggest that Mark intends this narrative to be a kind of model for the call to discipleship or conversion. What does Bartimaeus' story teach us for our own life?

Mark introduces him as, “Bartimaeus, a blind man, the son of Timaeus” (10:46) deserves some comment. As St. Augustine astutely pointed out, telling us that he is “the son of Timaeus” (10:46) is unusual, and it likely indicates that Bartimaeus was once of high status, but has now been reduced to begging.

We need to recall that in the ancient world, becoming blind would be seen as a sign of losing favor with God. In some Jewish traditions, being blind made the person ritually impure and therefore, prevented Bartimaeus from entering Jerusalem the place of the sacrifice.

Relating these details to the call to discipleship, I would point out that Bartimaeus begins with complete humility. Everything he could boast about in his life is gone. He is in poverty, and he is blind.  Notice the conditions Bartimaeus begins with, humility, detachment, and attention to the fact that Christ is passing by.

 As Jesus has just earlier told his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me” (Mk 8:34). Jesus warns them to not seek worldly gain, and not to be ashamed of him (Mk 8:36-38).

In order to reach Jesus, Bartimaeus must resist the crowd who initially tries to silence him. We might see this as a picture of persistence in prayer. We often experience distractions in our prayer. Mark tells us, “And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he kept calling out all the more, ‘Son of David, have pity on me’ (10:38). Bartimaeus then discovers that Jesus is listening. Jesus calls him and he responds with abandon. Mark tells us, “He threw aside his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus” (10:50)

In our modern world, we often have questions in our hearts. “Is God really listening to my prayers?” “Does he care about me personally?” Many people feel that they will need to first clean up their life, before they believe God will be willing listen to them. They might think, “God does not want to talk to me because I’m not following him as I should.” 

With many saints, I believe that no one who spends time in conversational prayer with God will be disappointed. Our confidence about God’s love, flows from our knowledge of God’s heart for each one of us.

As St. Paul tells us,

God “chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. He destined us in love to be his sons through Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 1:4-5).

God’s own personal love for each one of us began before “before the foundation of the world.”

While responding to the call to discipleship will definitely change our life, Bartimaeus shows us that we can approach God now, just as we are. We can approach him in our brokenness and poverty. We can be vulnerable with God and often this very vulnerability is the key to beginning our journey of healing. Note it is through his personal healing encounter with Jesus that Bartimaeus is healed and transformed.

Jesus asks Bartimaeus what may seem like a strange question, “What do you want me to do for you?” Bartimaeus replies, “Master, I want to see” (Mk 10: 51). Like Bartimaeus, we each need to take responsibility for our personal spiritual blindness and ask God to give us his light to see the world around us.  

God has no spiritual grandchildren, only sons and daughters. We must each personally ask God for our sight.

Although we thank God for the faith of our fathers, which is a rich treasure for our faith journey, we need our own living faith (LG 41) found in a personal encounter with Jesus (Apostolicam Actuositatem, 4).

The fathers of Second Vatican Council remind us “the success of the lay apostolate depends upon the laity's living union with Christ” (AA 4) and that;

Such a life requires a continual exercise of faith, hope, and charity. Only by the light of faith and by meditation on the word of God can one always and everywhere recognize God in Whom "we live, and move, and have our being" (Acts 17:28), [and] seek  His will in every event... (AA 4)

As our own bishops have reminded us, conversion is, “the acceptance of a personal relationship with Christ, a sincere adherence to him, and a willingness to conform one's life to his" (National Directory of Catechesis, p. 48), or to put it more simply “Conversion to Christ involves making a genuine commitment to him and a personal decision to follow him as his disciple” (NDC, p. 48).

Beginning in humility and poverty, Bartimaeus searches for Jesus as we might in our prayer. He cries out, “Son of David, have pity on me.” Bartimaeus is not deterred by his poverty or the difficulties he faces. He persists in his prayer. He makes an act of faith trusting that God wishes to meet him on the way and in this encounter responds to the question, “What do you want me to do for you?” replies, “Master, I want to see.”

Lord, we ask that today you would open the eyes of the hearts of each one of us. Trusting in your love beyond our understanding, let us say, “Master, I want to see.” Then we shall follow him on the way.

THIRTIETH SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME YEAR B 

Mark 10:46–52

Obedience is, in relationship, and out of love

As we reflect on the reading from Mark’s Gospel (10:17-30), I would like to ask you to do something different. I want you to imagine yourself in the scene of this Gospel. Try to see Jesus, the young man, and the disciples. Jesus uses a type of rabbinic hyperbole or exaggeration for effect, and in modern terms, this ‘triggers’ the disciples. They go from being amazed (v24) to being exceedingly astonished (v26) to asking, “Then who can be saved?” It is as if they are saying, “We are all doomed!”

How do Jesus’ words make you feel?

Why are the disciples so concerned? Perhaps they think Jesus is saying some like, “Be good or else!” Perhaps they understand the faith as being all about following the rules but unfortunately for an impossible to please God.

I want to ask you to take of the glasses you are currently wearing and put on a new set of lenses. We need the glasses of relationship to understand this passage. Jesus tells the young man “No one is good but God alone.”

In effect Jesus is say not, “Be good or else!” but instead, “Be good for goodness sake.” Since God is the author of life and the Creator, he has made the world ‘good’ and being good leads to our happiness.

St. John Paul II comments on this very idea of good in this passage and says “… no human effort could ever fulfil the law” instead we must receive God’s goodness as a gift from him and then learn to cooperate with this gift (VS 11). We receive this gift through an encounter with God’s love and it further involves a call to follow him.

As we continue to use our imagination to place ourselves in this passage, look now into the eyes of the young man and into the eyes of Jesus. Mark tells us, “Jesus looking upon him, loved him” (v21). For this young man the entire conversation is an encounter with the love of God.

Jesus is not condemning a class of people, the rich, but pointing out a spiritual problem that all of us face. Furthermore, in relationship with him, Jesus promises “God can do all things”

Popular speaker Andy Stanley has a saying that relates to this passage that I would like to share with you. He notes “Rules without relationship lead to rebellion” and I might add, “Rules without relationship also lead to … discouragement.” I think discouragement is the primary emotion felt by the disciples in the passage.

I have talked about encounter, love and relationship. How then does relationship work? The foundation of all relationships is trust and commitment.

We might imagine a young couple who are growing in trust and commitment with each other who eventually decide to get married. A final proof of this commitment they will stand before the altar in the Church with all their friend and relatives and make solemn promises to one another. They will promise to be faithful to one another, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love to honor one another, all the days of their life. So profound is this human example, that Jesus uses it as the model for his own relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:32, Revelation 19:7-10).

The Bible does not use the words the modern words trust and commitment but instead uses faith and obedience for these concepts. Furthermore, just as in marriage there is a final decision to get married, we need decide to follow Jesus. The Bible call this point of decision, conversion. Again, our decision is our cooperation with the gift of goodness we have received from God, and not something we earn.

Unfortunately, the very use of the word obedience will still trigger some people to think again that the faith is all about following the rules. Obedience is always understood in relationship and out of love.

I would like to illustrate this with a story. There was a man named Bill, who was sleeping, and he unfortunately forgot to silence the ringer on his cell phone. In the middle of the night, his phone rang, and he saw that Tom was calling him. Tom was not a close friend but he did know him, so Bill answered the call.

Bill said,

Hey Tom! I wanted to ask you a favor. Would you go to the store right now and buy me pint of my favorite ice cream, and bring it to me at my house?

Cleary the next line in the script is stunned silence. It is not likely Bill agreed to this request. Imagine the difference that it would make if instead of a call from Tom, his pregnant wife awakens Bill and says,

Bill, I can’t sleep, and I am having a craving for ice cream. Would you go to the store and buy me some of my favorite ice cream?

If Bill is smart, he will get up immediately and go to the store a buy the ice cream. Not only will he willing do this, he will even do it cheerfully! This is what it means to say, obedience is in relationship and out of love.

Perhaps the first question is do we believe in the goodness God? Do we trust that he desires our happiness and wants to give us joy?

In the Bible, the symbol of the church is not a cactus, but a vine which bears sweet fruit, fruit which can be changed into the best wine, and which when consecrated becomes Christ himself. In receiving Communion, we enter into the deepest relationship and connection with Christ. Only, however, if we remain in the vine.

Just as a Marriage, ceremony is only the beginning of married life; the decision to follow Jesus as his disciple has a beginning and then continues for the rest of our life.

Being human implies that we have normal desires and affections for the things of this world, and creation offers many physical pleasures. These affections and pleasures are good and part of the way God has made us. I think we are all aware though, that many times our desires and affections become disordered and selfish. We can also pursue pleasures in a way that lead us away from goodness.

In order to stay balanced and continue to pursue goodness, we need to discipline our heart. The reality is that the journey of discipleship is a battle for our heart. Being a disciple is like going up a hill, if we do not put energy and effort into our discipleship through our active cooperation, we will not make progress, and we might even slide backwards.

Following Christ is not an outward imitation but instead becoming conformed to Christ who dwells by faith in the heart of the believer (Eph 3:17). God’s grace in our hearts brings about this perfect love through the active presence of the Holy Spirit in us (VS 21). This is why all things are possible with God.

Yet, if all things are possible, why does the rich young man turn away sorrowfully and not follow Jesus? Although he was actively ‘seeking Jesus,’ he was not yet ready to give himself fully to Jesus out of love. The very nature of love implies our personal freedom. This does not necessarily mean the man was sinful; he was just not ready to be ‘all in’ in his commitment with Jesus.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly continuing to struggle forward in my life of discipleship. There is much more to learn about detachment from earthly things. The issue is not with the external things themselves, but the attitude of my heart. As Jesus tells us, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt 6:21).

Two masters of the interior life, St. John of the Cross, and St. Teresa of Ávila tell us that we cannot make progress in the spiritual life without beginning to first discipline our heart’s desires and affections.

Before moving on to some practical suggestions, I wanted to note some important things about the difference we experience because of our vocations and situations in life. For someone in a religious vocation it might very well make sense to sell everything and live in poverty in the monastery or convent.

According to Second Vatican Council, the calling of the layperson is different from this. The laity are called to live holiness in the midst of their daily lives and in the midst of the world. They are to be Christ in the midst of their secular vocations, and even to pursue holiness, and evangelize culture through their secular work. They are to be leaven, and to be in the world but not of the world.

Practically then, how can we learn to discipline our everyday attachments and desires when they become disordered. On a spiritual level, four things would help. First, it would be helpful to have a trusted friend, or an accountability partner, or even a spiritual director who can help us to monitor our progress toward our goals. When we are dealing with our heart's desires, it is very hard to be objective.

Secondly, we need to make an effort to change our thinking. We need to keep our eyes on the things that are above and not to allow our thoughts to turn to vanity (Philippians 4:8). One important area to think about might be our use of screen time. We might say “Hey, Siri how much time have I spent on screen this week?” We can ask ourselves; “Have I viewed things, which are true?, and ”Have I viewed things, which are pure?”

Thirdly, St. Teresa suggests that engaging in mental prayer will have the supernatural effect of changing our hearts from within. She has in mind a type of prayer where we meditate on scripture and talk to God in conversation from our hearts. As we read and meditate we might ask God, “What does this passage mean to me?” and “How can I live this in my life?” We might also spend some time in silence listening to God in our prayer. By regularly engaging is this type of prayer St Teresa say that God will give us supernatural graces and change our hearts desires from within us.

Finally, performing small penances or making small sacrifices can lead us into greater discipline of our wills. I know we normally only think of doing this during Lent, but even little acts of fasting from small things can help us to grow in self-control. While the exact thing we do is completely flexible, we could for example give up eating ketchup, or the things we put in our coffee for a short time. We can even offer up these small sacrifices for others along with our prayers for them.

While each of these four things are important, I think St. Teresa would say that the discipline of regular prayer is the most effective means for changing our heart and this echoes what we have heard in our Gospel today.

Jesus calls each one of us to encounter him and to see the love in his eyes. We need to grow in trust. Finally when we are ready, to then make a conscious decision to follow Jesus completely from our hearts. This is only the beginning. We then to struggle to live that decision in our daily life.

Remember, “All things are possible with God.”

On Camels and Needles

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” (Mk 10:25). If you are like me, at first glance Jesus’ use of hyperbole or exaggeration to make a point is distracting!

The disciples are “very amazed” by this saying and reply, “Then who can be saved?” (Mk 10:26). It might be good to point out that unless a saintly homeless person has joined us for Mass, by the standards of ancient Palestine every single person in the average parish pew is likely 'rich.'

Jesus is not condemning a certain class of people, but pointing to a spiritual problem that affects each one of us. Jesus is not condemning the young man, “Jesus looked at the man, and loved him,” but calling him to conversion.

In this short passage, we find many of the greatest themes in our understanding the moral life. The nature of the good, the commandments, and the requirement for conversion in response to Jesus’ call to follow him.

In response to being called, “Good Teacher,” Jesus replies “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone” (Mk 10:18).

Jesus points out that no one except God can answer the question, “what is good?” St. John Paul II commented on this passage, “To ask about the good, in fact, ultimately means to turn towards God, the fullness of goodness” (Veritatis Splendor 9).

Here we have an encounter with the love of God, which calls for a response. In Deuteronomy, the fundamental call of God’s people is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might…” (Deut 6:4).

St. John Paul II also points out however, “if God alone is the Good, no human effort, not even the most rigorous observance of the commandments, succeeds in ‘fulfilling’ the Law.” We must all receive this goodness as a gift of God. God offers us a share in the divine Goodness as a gift of grace (VS 11).

Jesus' question about fulfilling the commandments then, is not an external checklist of minimum behaviors lived out of duty, but a question of how the love of God is being lived in one’s heart. The heart in love desires to be like the beloved.

Since God alone is Good, the fullness of life, and the source of man’s happiness, loving God involves interiorizing the commandments and bringing out their fullest meaning. Jesus will later summarize this call in the twin commands to love God and one’s neighbor and in the perfections of this love found in the beatitudes.

Encountering the love of God, and following Christ (Mk 10:21) are the foundation of Christian morality (VS 19). The moral life, however, is not merely about hearing, obeying and accepting the commandments (VS 19). The moral life is about participating in the life of Jesus and holding fast to his person in relationship with him (VS 19). Along this path of loving encounter with Jesus, he calls us to imitate him and to follow him.

In St. John’s Gospel, Jesus admonishes us: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you" (John 15:12)

The word “as” in this verse tells us two things. It requires the imitation of Jesus and of his love, and tells us something about the degree of this love.

Jesus calls the rich young man to perfect the love of God in his heart. Following Christ is not an outward imitation but instead becoming conformed to Christ who dwells by faith in the heart of the believer (Eph 3:17). God’s grace in our hearts brings about this perfect love through the active presence of the Holy Spirit in us (VS 21). This is why all things are possible with God.

Yet, if all things are possible, why does the rich young man turn away sorrowfully and not follow Jesus? Although he was actively ‘seeking Jesus,’ he was not yet ready to give himself fully to Jesus out of love. The very nature of love implies our personal freedom.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly have not arrived at the perfection of love. There is much more to learn about detachment from earthly things. The issue is not with the external things themselves, but the attitude of my heart. As Jesus tells us, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt 6:21).

Two masters of the interior life, St. John of the Cross, and St. Teresa of Ávila tell us that we cannot make progress in the spiritual life without disciplining our heart’s desires and affections. While affections, desires and pleasures are good in themselves, many times we experience and even cooperate with self-centered desires, and disordered appetites, attachments and affections.

Practically then, how can we learn to discipline our everyday attachments and desires when they become disordered. I think we can tackle these issues both on a human and psychological level and on a spiritual level. On the human level, for example, if we felt the need, we might join a support group or weight watching program to help sustain our desire to discipline our appetite.

On a spiritual level, four things would help. First, it would be helpful to have a trusted friend, or an accountability partner, or even a spiritual director who can help us to monitor our progress toward our goals.

Secondly, we need to make an effort to change our thinking. We need to keep our eyes on the things that are above and not to allow our thoughts to turn to vanity. Some people have suggested that praying to our guardian angel while we do things such as shopping can be helpful. Monitoring the things we watch and read for entertainment can also help.

Thirdly, St. Teresa suggests that engaging in mental prayer will have the supernatural effect of changing our hearts from within. She has in mind a type of prayer where we meditate on scripture and talk to God in conversation from our hearts.

Finally, performing small penances can lead us into greater discipline of our wills. I know we normally only think of doing this during Lent, but even little acts of fasting from small things can help us to grow in self-control. (For example) We could give up eating ketchup, or the things we put in our coffee for a short time. These acts can even be offered up as small sacrifices with our prayers.

While each of these four things are important, I think St. Teresa would say that prayer is the most effective means for changing our heart and this echoes what we have heard in our Gospel today.

Jesus calls each one of us to encounter him and to experience his love. We then need to make a conscious decision to follow him completely from our hearts. From time to time, we may even need to renew this decision. Remember, “All things are possible with God” (Mk 10:27).

So they are no longer two but one flesh

Sunday’s Gospel reading from Mark 10:2-16, touches on a very sensitive topic. Many people have experienced hurt in their own lives and in their families because of divorce. Before looking at Jesus’ words in our Gospel, perhaps we should start by saying that our hearts go out to those who have experienced this pain, and our main desire is to accompany them and to assist with their healing. No one should feel excluded or condemned because of this difficult experience.

At the time of Jesus, in both Jewish and Roman society, divorce was generally accepted. Jewish scribes believed that Moses had given wide permission for divorce in Deuteronomy 24. In our Gospel today, some Pharisees question Jesus about divorce, but instead of engaging in their debate Jesus points back to the beginning of God’s creation.

Genesis tells us that God created a beautiful garden filled with fruit and good things to eat. God created the first human and placed him there to care for the garden.

Original Solitude

At each step of creation, God reflects on what he had made and says, and it was good, or even very good. We are surprised then when God suddenly says something was not good.

Even though the first man, Adam had all the animals and even God himself for companionship, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” We might call this our original solitude.

Original Unity

The truth is that God created each one of us with a need for community and for relationship with others. Adam was created with a God-given a need for relationship. It was not good for Adam to be alone.

In response to this, God made Adam sleep and took one of his ribs from his side, and created the first woman. In certain sense, for Adam, God plus Eve, is better than God alone. We call the joining of Adam and Eve as man’s original unity.

Original Joy

God introduces Adam to Eve for the first time. One famous Hebrew scholar has said Adam’s words upon meeting her are the equivalent of “Whaahoo!” Upon seeing his bride, Adam basically says, “God this… is… awesome! This is exactly what I was looking for!” They expressed Adam’s sheer delight in the wonderful creature that God had created for companionship with him. The story also tells us that in their original state, “the man and his wife were naked and unashamed.” We might call this original joy.

The Fall

Unfortunately, the man and woman did not stay in the garden. They disobeyed God and ate from the tree God told them not to eat. Suddenly their eyes were opened, and they knew they were naked, and they were ashamed. They hid from God and strife entered their relationship. Sin entered the world and damaged God’s original plan for marriage.

Although sin has entered the world, Jesus has come to restore God’s original intention for creation. St. Paul tell us,

So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come (2 Co 5:17).

God’s desires to transform each one of us in Christ Jesus. We must become a new creation. While the effects of the old creation and fall linger in our relationships, Jesus offers us hope.

Jesus responds to the Pharisees in our Gospel by reminding them of God’s original vision for marriage. Quoting Genesis, Jesus notes that ‘God made them male and female’ alluding to the whole story I have just related. Jewish traditions about marriage recognized that the words of the creation account, ‘God made them male and female’ set up the first man and woman as a prototype of marriage. At a purely natural level, God created all human marriages to be something that is good.

The problem is that at a purely human level we are often still living in a fallen state of sin rather than in the new life of the Spirit that God desires for us. When Jesus rebukes the hardness of the hearts of the Pharisees, he is pointing out that they have not yet allowed their hearts to be renewed by the Spirit.

God desires to restore each one of us individually and even marriage itself to its original state. God desired much more from this institution than simply a natural human good. He created man and woman in the image and likeness of God.

During his earthly life, Jesus elevated the human good of marriage into a sacrament. For baptized Christians, joined to Christ by the Spirit, there are three people joined in Holy Matrimony. The groom, the bride and Jesus.

Christian Marriage is a window into the mystery of God’s own interior love.  The exchange of love between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit is reflected in the creation of man and women as a complimentary pair who exchange their love and commitment to each other. 

God’s love for us is always true and eternal. Like God, the reflection of God’s love in our marriage covenant, is also permanent, faithful, and open to new life.

Pointing to the original unity of the marriage, Jesus again quotes from Genesis 2 saying , ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother [and be joined to his wife] and the two shall become one flesh’ (Genesis 2:24). Jesus is saying that becoming one flesh creates a unity of the two, so that they truly become one. This unity is permanent and unbreakable as long as the groom and bride live.

Jesus concludes, “So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mk 10:6–9). Jesus teaching on the permanence and indissolubility of marriage will bring comfort to some and be the source of pain for others.

We must recognize that we live in a tension between the old creation and the new creation. God desires to give us joy and happiness in all our relationships. Modern psychological research teaches us that the foundation of any marriage is commitment and trust. God’s plan for marriage as a serious lifelong covenant fosters these same attributes.

Even when we fall short and fail, Jesus desires to heal us and restore us to his joy. Jesus' heart is always for our happiness.

As St. John reminds us, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him" (Jn 3:17).