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Monday, October 11, 2021

Obedience is, in relationship, and out of love

As we reflect on the reading from Mark’s Gospel (10:17-30), I would like to ask you to do something different. I want you to imagine yourself in the scene of this Gospel. Try to see Jesus, the young man, and the disciples. Jesus uses a type of rabbinic hyperbole or exaggeration for effect, and in modern terms, this ‘triggers’ the disciples. They go from being amazed (v24) to being exceedingly astonished (v26) to asking, “Then who can be saved?” It is as if they are saying, “We are all doomed!”

How do Jesus’ words make you feel?

Why are the disciples so concerned? Perhaps they think Jesus is saying some like, “Be good or else!” Perhaps they understand the faith as being all about following the rules but unfortunately for an impossible to please God.

I want to ask you to take of the glasses you are currently wearing and put on a new set of lenses. We need the glasses of relationship to understand this passage. Jesus tells the young man “No one is good but God alone.”

In effect Jesus is say not, “Be good or else!” but instead, “Be good for goodness sake.” Since God is the author of life and the Creator, he has made the world ‘good’ and being good leads to our happiness.

St. John Paul II comments on this very idea of good in this passage and says “… no human effort could ever fulfil the law” instead we must receive God’s goodness as a gift from him and then learn to cooperate with this gift (VS 11). We receive this gift through an encounter with God’s love and it further involves a call to follow him.

As we continue to use our imagination to place ourselves in this passage, look now into the eyes of the young man and into the eyes of Jesus. Mark tells us, “Jesus looking upon him, loved him” (v21). For this young man the entire conversation is an encounter with the love of God.

Jesus is not condemning a class of people, the rich, but pointing out a spiritual problem that all of us face. Furthermore, in relationship with him, Jesus promises “God can do all things”

Popular speaker Andy Stanley has a saying that relates to this passage that I would like to share with you. He notes “Rules without relationship lead to rebellion” and I might add, “Rules without relationship also lead to … discouragement.” I think discouragement is the primary emotion felt by the disciples in the passage.

I have talked about encounter, love and relationship. How then does relationship work? The foundation of all relationships is trust and commitment.

We might imagine a young couple who are growing in trust and commitment with each other who eventually decide to get married. A final proof of this commitment they will stand before the altar in the Church with all their friend and relatives and make solemn promises to one another. They will promise to be faithful to one another, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love to honor one another, all the days of their life. So profound is this human example, that Jesus uses it as the model for his own relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:32, Revelation 19:7-10).

The Bible does not use the words the modern words trust and commitment but instead uses faith and obedience for these concepts. Furthermore, just as in marriage there is a final decision to get married, we need decide to follow Jesus. The Bible call this point of decision, conversion. Again, our decision is our cooperation with the gift of goodness we have received from God, and not something we earn.

Unfortunately, the very use of the word obedience will still trigger some people to think again that the faith is all about following the rules. Obedience is always understood in relationship and out of love.

I would like to illustrate this with a story. There was a man named Bill, who was sleeping, and he unfortunately forgot to silence the ringer on his cell phone. In the middle of the night, his phone rang, and he saw that Tom was calling him. Tom was not a close friend but he did know him, so Bill answered the call.

Bill said,

Hey Tom! I wanted to ask you a favor. Would you go to the store right now and buy me pint of my favorite ice cream, and bring it to me at my house?

Cleary the next line in the script is stunned silence. It is not likely Bill agreed to this request. Imagine the difference that it would make if instead of a call from Tom, his pregnant wife awakens Bill and says,

Bill, I can’t sleep, and I am having a craving for ice cream. Would you go to the store and buy me some of my favorite ice cream?

If Bill is smart, he will get up immediately and go to the store a buy the ice cream. Not only will he willing do this, he will even do it cheerfully! This is what it means to say, obedience is in relationship and out of love.

Perhaps the first question is do we believe in the goodness God? Do we trust that he desires our happiness and wants to give us joy?

In the Bible, the symbol of the church is not a cactus, but a vine which bears sweet fruit, fruit which can be changed into the best wine, and which when consecrated becomes Christ himself. In receiving Communion, we enter into the deepest relationship and connection with Christ. Only, however, if we remain in the vine.

Just as a Marriage, ceremony is only the beginning of married life; the decision to follow Jesus as his disciple has a beginning and then continues for the rest of our life.

Being human implies that we have normal desires and affections for the things of this world, and creation offers many physical pleasures. These affections and pleasures are good and part of the way God has made us. I think we are all aware though, that many times our desires and affections become disordered and selfish. We can also pursue pleasures in a way that lead us away from goodness.

In order to stay balanced and continue to pursue goodness, we need to discipline our heart. The reality is that the journey of discipleship is a battle for our heart. Being a disciple is like going up a hill, if we do not put energy and effort into our discipleship through our active cooperation, we will not make progress, and we might even slide backwards.

Following Christ is not an outward imitation but instead becoming conformed to Christ who dwells by faith in the heart of the believer (Eph 3:17). God’s grace in our hearts brings about this perfect love through the active presence of the Holy Spirit in us (VS 21). This is why all things are possible with God.

Yet, if all things are possible, why does the rich young man turn away sorrowfully and not follow Jesus? Although he was actively ‘seeking Jesus,’ he was not yet ready to give himself fully to Jesus out of love. The very nature of love implies our personal freedom. This does not necessarily mean the man was sinful; he was just not ready to be ‘all in’ in his commitment with Jesus.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly continuing to struggle forward in my life of discipleship. There is much more to learn about detachment from earthly things. The issue is not with the external things themselves, but the attitude of my heart. As Jesus tells us, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt 6:21).

Two masters of the interior life, St. John of the Cross, and St. Teresa of Ávila tell us that we cannot make progress in the spiritual life without beginning to first discipline our heart’s desires and affections.

Before moving on to some practical suggestions, I wanted to note some important things about the difference we experience because of our vocations and situations in life. For someone in a religious vocation it might very well make sense to sell everything and live in poverty in the monastery or convent.

According to Second Vatican Council, the calling of the layperson is different from this. The laity are called to live holiness in the midst of their daily lives and in the midst of the world. They are to be Christ in the midst of their secular vocations, and even to pursue holiness, and evangelize culture through their secular work. They are to be leaven, and to be in the world but not of the world.

Practically then, how can we learn to discipline our everyday attachments and desires when they become disordered. On a spiritual level, four things would help. First, it would be helpful to have a trusted friend, or an accountability partner, or even a spiritual director who can help us to monitor our progress toward our goals. When we are dealing with our heart's desires, it is very hard to be objective.

Secondly, we need to make an effort to change our thinking. We need to keep our eyes on the things that are above and not to allow our thoughts to turn to vanity (Philippians 4:8). One important area to think about might be our use of screen time. We might say “Hey, Siri how much time have I spent on screen this week?” We can ask ourselves; “Have I viewed things, which are true?, and ”Have I viewed things, which are pure?”

Thirdly, St. Teresa suggests that engaging in mental prayer will have the supernatural effect of changing our hearts from within. She has in mind a type of prayer where we meditate on scripture and talk to God in conversation from our hearts. As we read and meditate we might ask God, “What does this passage mean to me?” and “How can I live this in my life?” We might also spend some time in silence listening to God in our prayer. By regularly engaging is this type of prayer St Teresa say that God will give us supernatural graces and change our hearts desires from within us.

Finally, performing small penances or making small sacrifices can lead us into greater discipline of our wills. I know we normally only think of doing this during Lent, but even little acts of fasting from small things can help us to grow in self-control. While the exact thing we do is completely flexible, we could for example give up eating ketchup, or the things we put in our coffee for a short time. We can even offer up these small sacrifices for others along with our prayers for them.

While each of these four things are important, I think St. Teresa would say that the discipline of regular prayer is the most effective means for changing our heart and this echoes what we have heard in our Gospel today.

Jesus calls each one of us to encounter him and to see the love in his eyes. We need to grow in trust. Finally when we are ready, to then make a conscious decision to follow Jesus completely from our hearts. This is only the beginning. We then to struggle to live that decision in our daily life.

Remember, “All things are possible with God.”

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